


the one I've been missing

by jar_full_of_honey



Category: NCIS
Genre: Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Homecoming, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:54:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21650767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jar_full_of_honey/pseuds/jar_full_of_honey
Summary: Jack and Gibbs both hope for a miracle at Christmas.
Relationships: Jethro Gibbs/Jacqueline "Jack" Sloane
Comments: 2
Kudos: 93





	the one I've been missing

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the new Christmas song Little Mix just released. Couldn’t get it out of my head.

She had been gone for 364 days. Well - not gone - but away. Away like on the other side of the country. And not exactly 364 days either, but the majority of them. She had gotten a call early on Christmas morning that had her gripping the countertop for support.

An hour later he had dropped her off at the airport, seen her to security and through it and watched her plane take off. He knew then that he wouldn't see her for a while. Imagined it would take weeks, maybe a few months at the most. But now - a year later - he watched as D.C. morphed into a winter wonderland yet again and wondered if she would ever come back home.   
During the last year he had seen her a handful of times when she had reported back to Leon or had to get some things she had forgotten in her hasty departure. She had been to D.C. that year, but she hadn't been home. And now after 364 days he doubted she ever would.

At the beginning they had talked on the phone every week, even if she had been to D.C. during that week. He made it his personal challenge to hear her laugh at least once per call. Since Christmas he had grown fond of that laugh. But by summer she rarely picked up the phone when he called and stopped coming to D.C. because she thought they had a lead. But that had turned out to be a dead end. Just like the one after that and the one after that.

By the end of October she simply asked him to stop calling her. So he did. Following her request without one question about her reasons. But that didn't stop him from wondering what the hell he had done wrong. He couldn't have possibly messed something up that didn't even exist. Well, maybe non-existent wasn't the right term for what they had or at least for what he thought they had. Nothing actually happened between them that past Christmas but the chemistry between them had buzzed so strong that evening that even he hadn’t been able to ignore it.

It had seemed like they had both come to a silent agreement to let whatever was between them develop at its own pace and he had been content just holding her in his arms that night, breathing her in and watching the fire light dance across her face. They had fallen asleep like that and he had woken the next morning to the full length of her pressed deliciously into his side. Her head tucked into the crock of his neck und an arm slung low over his waste. He had just watched her sleep until their quiet morning had been interrupted by her phone. He knew there was a reason he hated cellphones. And from that point everything that had looked like a promising future had gone downhill. He thought it was safe to say that he hated serial killers every day of the year. But this year he silently promised one of them a very special place in hell.

She hadn't felt like that in years. So secure, so happy, so... loved. Waking up in his arms had been pure bliss and she had secretly hoped that he would never let her go. When he realized she was awake he gave her a small smile, kissed her on the head and tightened his arms around her and suddenly that Christmas had shot up to the top of her list of favorite moments. Actually, it shot through the whole damn ceiling.

That was until her phone rang insistently from the kitchen. He had let her go, accompanied by a string of curse words. She had to smile at his antics until she saw the caller ID on her phone and somehow she knew then that what she had hoped would develop into a whole other sort of relationship would have to be put on hold.

The call was short and to the point. Giving her all the information she needed at that moment. Letting her know she was needed elsewhere. Hearing his name didn't get easier over the years and as the realization hit her, she had to grab the countertop for support. She should have counted with the possibility of his return, but she had always thought he had left the country. Living his sick life out of her reach because the last time they had stood eye to eye she had promised him his death through her hands. And even with a knife buried deep in her abdomen she had made sure he knew that she would never break a promise.

Thomas Henley was one of the smartest serial killers she had ever profiled. His persona complex and sane in its insanity. When his file first landed on her desk, she had already profiled hundreds of people in her career. And still she was drawn to him. He made her skin crawl in a way she couldn't quite explain. But she knew he was the one they had been looking for from the moment she set eyes on him in interrogation. Women with military background had been disappearing for a while, their bodies untraceable. They had worked for month - day and night - until she had had enough and made sure to lay out a bait he couldn't resist. The mission ended with his knife sticking out of her body and her words chasing him away. For good she had hoped. She should have known that hope was in vain when battling the devil.

Military women had started to disappear in California again around late October. By Christmas it had been clear he had returned. All the evidence had added up to a clear result. That's when her old team had called her. Knowing they finally had the evidence to put him behind bars but by no means the ability and resources to find him. That's where she came into the picture. She was familiar with his methods, knew how his brain worked and wanted to catch him more than anyone else. So she hopped on the next flight to San Diego, well aware what she left behind. But in her mind she had no choice and she knew if she ever came around to tell Gibbs all the circumstance he'd understand. At least that's what she hoped.

But as the month came and went and the flowers started blooming and soon after the trees were loosing their leaves again she wasn't so sure anymore. He was 2652 miles away and with every day it got even more unbearable. But she had a job to do and she couldn't use any distractions. Not when she felt she was so close. Not even when it was him who distracted her. Especially not him. She needed to focus after all. Because she wanted to be home for Christmas. That was her goal. The one thing she could hold on to. It was what made her work harder than anyone else.

Unknown to her it was also the thing he held onto. Christmas. There was nothing he wished more for this year than her at home. With him. But as the days went by and late November turned into early December and people started to put on Christmas decorations and Christmas songs started to play on every radio station his hope started to vanish. He hadn’t heard from her in month.   
The only information he had gotten out of Leon was that she was alive and that they still hadn’t caught their killer. Maybe she liked being in California again. Maybe she realized what she had been missing out on. Maybe there just wasn’t anything holding her in D.C. Maybe she had already forgotten about him. He knew he sounded pathetic, but he just couldn’t help it. She had cut all communication between them and he still didn’t know why. What was he supposed to think? Maybe he hadn’t been all that clear last Christmas. Maybe she hadn’t realized what he had tried to tell her in silence. Maybe he should have told her that he was falling in love with her. But maybe she just didn’t feel the same.

He came to the conclusion that he didn’t know. And he was tired of playing the “what-if” game. He couldn’t force her into anything she clearly didn’t want. There was nothing he could do but wait. Not for the first time he wondered what it was about that women that had him at her mercy even 2652 miles across the country.

It was the 24th of December and he had given up hope altogether. She wasn’t coming come. Not this Christmas. Maybe never. Around 9pm he pulled out the bottle of whiskey she had gotten him last Christmas and laid down on the couch in front of the fire. Drinking her whiskey and remembering how different he thought everything would play out 365 days ago. The alcohol and the memories lulled him to sleep.

A loud knock woke him up hours later. A squint at his watch told him it was nearly midnight. He considered not opening the door and ignoring the person on his porch until they left again, but that wasn’t who he was. So he stood up with a groan, stretching a little before he walked over to the door and pulled it open.

For a moment he thought he might suffer a heart attack. It took him a few second to realized that his heart was still pounding in his chest. Hammering against his rips actually. But he just never prepared himself for the sight of Jaqueline Sloane in full army combat uniform. She looked tired and there was blood on her arm and her chest but she was alive and standing on his porch. On Christmas eve.

“You gonna let me in cowboy?” Her smile was weak but truthful. Realizing he was still standing in the door he stepped aside to let her in and closed the door tightly behind her as if he wanted to make sure she wasn’t leaving again. She stepped out of her boots and then stood awkwardly in his hallway. He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. She had been to his house a hundred times already. And never had she acted this hesitant.

She turned a little red and then walked into his living room coming to a halt in front of the fireplace. Turning to face him he suddenly realized she was nervous. Wringing her hands and biting her lower lip. “Did you catch him?” He thought it was the safest option to stir things into a safer territory and she looked extremely grateful for it even if her eyes darkened thinking about the man she had been chasing for a year.

She nodded as she realized she hadn’t answered yet. “That your blood?” She looked down on herself and suddenly realized she was still wearing her ACUs. She hadn’t even realized she hadn’t changed before hopping on the next flight back to D.C. Back to him. She shook her head. “Its not mine.”

“What happened?” She just shrugged. There wasn’t much to say. She didn’t want to waste her time talking about someone she had no care for. “I promised him years ago that if he ever returned, he would die trough my hands. I never break my promises.” She looked him straight in the eyes while she talked and she thought she might have seen a hint of pride.

She swallowed hard and then told herself silently to get her act together. It was now or never. “Listen Gibbs, I think I have some explaining to do. When I told you to stop calling I…” He interrupted her right there before she could come to the important part and she was a little annoyed that he couldn’t just let her finish her damn sentence. After all she had practiced it the whole flight. “There is no need for you to explain. I get it. You didn’t want me to call. It’s fine.”

She shook her head. This man could be a complete idiot sometimes. “It’s not fine. What I wanted to say is that…” “Jack, don’t worry I…” She had enough of his attitude right then. Her hand closed over his mouth before he could finish his sentence. “God dammit Gibbs. Just let me finish. What I wanted to say is that when I told you to stop calling I didn’t want you to actually stop calling.” Seeing his confusion she tried to elaborate. “I mean I wanted you to stop calling but not because I didn’t like it when you called. I couldn’t… I wasn’t able to concentrate. You distracted me because all I could think about all the damn time was your next call. And I knew if I didn’t start to focus I would have to stay in California forever. But I wanted to come home. To you. In time for Christmas. So that’s why I asked you to stop calling.” She took a breath. “Thought you should now that.” She removed her hand from his mouth slowly when she realized her hand was still firmly pressed to his face.

He stared at her in silence. When he hadn’t said anything a full minute later she started to freak out. Maybe she had been wrong. Maybe he didn’t feel the same. And suddenly her nervousness turned into a panic attack. “I’m… god, I’m sorry Gibbs. I didn’t mean to waltz in here and…” She waved her hands around to make up for the lack of words. “I just… I’m confused and tired. I haven’t slept in over 72 hours and I obviously misread some things. I don’t even know what I’m doing here.” She sighed. “And now I’m blabbering.” She put her hands to her temple, rubbing a few times, trying to get her act together. “I’ll see you after the holidays. We’ll talk then, if you want.” And with that she was breezing past him on her way to the door.

He could grab her elbow in the last second. As she turned around again he could see how tired she actually was. The lines around her eyes had intensified and she was a little pale. The blood on her ACUs forming a strong contrast to her skin. But she was still more beautiful than ever before. He couldn’t quite explain it, but he hadn’t felt like this in a long time.

He pulled her closer by her sleeve until she stood directly in front of him. Her eyes were searching his for a hint, but he gave nothing away until he touched her cheek with his hand. It was the softest touch she had ever felt and it send a shiver through her whole body. She couldn’t help but close her eyes for a second, just enjoying the moment. When she opened them again he was so close she could see the flecks of silver in his blue eyes. “I missed you Jack.” She took a breath. And then smiled. “I missed you too. I try to not stay away this long the next time.” Now it was his turn to smile. “The next time I’ll come and get you.” She moved an inch closer, her nose almost touching his. “Promise?” She saw the answer in his eyes before he even nodded. “I promise.” And he sealed his promise with a kiss.

365 days ago she had known this was coming. She hadn’t counted on actually waiting a full year for it. But she wasn’t complaining, because finally being in his arms erased the stress 365 days had left on her face, in her brain and in her heart. She was finally home. With the man she knew she now belonged to. At Christmas.

He deepened the kiss and she moaned against his slips. Pushing a few inches away to get some air into her lungs she used the time apart and smiled devilish up at him. “Just realizing my clothes are pretty dirty. You got a washing machine?” He grinned at her and nodded. “Great. Any idea how I’m getting out of them?” He didn’t need to be told twice. She squealed in surprise when he threw her over his shoulder and carried her upstairs.

Hours later she was lying in his arms. Content and satisfied – for the moment. She hadn’t gotten a second of sleep in the last few hours, but again – she wasn’t complaining. She turned her had a little and studied the men beside her. They had wasted 365 days and she would make it her personal challenge to not waste another one.

“Quit starring at me already.” His eyes were still closed but he obviously hadn’t been sleeping. Her only response was to roll on top of him and press herself as close to him as possible. He moaned in response. “Are you trying to kill me woman?” She shook her head but her face stayed serious. “No. But I never want you to stop touching me.” He looked at her and realized the meaning behind her words. Knowing they weren’t quite ready to take that last final step yet but realizing they were close. He understood her need for confirmation even though they weren’t ready to put it into words. “I’ll never let you go.” Her kiss told him it was exactly what she needed to hear. “Jack.” Unwillingly she stopped her exploration down his throat and looked up at him. He smirked at her. “Merry Christmas.”


End file.
